Why the Bride of Christ is Not a Debt-Free Virgin (and Why We Should Rejoice)

Little over a week ago, Christian author Lori Alexander caused quite a stir in the online community when she published a blog post entitled "Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins (Without Tattoos)". While as a blogger with free speech she has a right to present her opinion online, the danger her post presents is that she does so as a Christian writer, quoting Scripture, and making bold claims in the name of Christ. Even more dangerous is the fact that she seems to confuse male preference in women with God's own heart towards women.

A Look at the Blog Post

Alexander begins her post by stating what kinds of women men prefer, but immediately switches into a biblical argument that has nothing to do with men. She asks, "Do you know how much more attractive debt-free virgins (without tattoos) are to young men?" She then laments the fact that many Christian women do not fit this category and states that, "As believers in Jesus Christ, we need to live in a way that is pleasing to Him because His ways are the best. He calls debt a burden and urges us to live lives of sexual purity."

Before we move on, it should be understood that, from a Christian viewpoint, the second half of Alexander's opening is absolutely right. Believers should walk with Christ in purity and wisdom, which includes financial wisdom.

However, the fact remains that all believers, men and women, are called to this standard, not just women. Even more importantly, all believers are called to this standard to please the Lord, not to look good in front of others. As Paul states in response to those who added their own rules to the gospel of salvation through grace alone, "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ" (Galatians 1:10, ESV).

Of course Christians should serve the Lord with their lives. "Are we to continue in sin so that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?" (Romans 6:1-2). But what about women (and men!) who are already in debt? What about those who are no longer virgins? What does God think of them?

God's Grace Toward Women - Some examples

Throughout the gospels, it is clear that Jesus drew to himself particularly those people who were seen as flawed, blemished, and impure. While there are examples of this even among his male disciples, including Christ's calling of a tax collector and a zealot, many of the most striking among them involve the grace of God and his calling of women, especially sexually promiscuous women.

One such woman was the Samaritan woman in John 4. When Jesus met her at a well in Samaria, it was around noon, the heat of the day. This should have been a major red flag to Jesus about this woman's character, as women normally came to draw water early in the morning to avoid the sun's scorching rays. By coming at a time when she knew no one would be there, the woman showed signs of shame: she did not want to be seen, even while drawing water from a well. Indeed, as Jesus points out after talking with her for a while, this woman's life is full of sexual sin, even for a Samaritan: She has had five husbands, and she is currently living with a man who is not her husband. However, the conversation does not end there. Jesus does not accuse her of wrong or demand her immediate repentance. Instead, this woman becomes one of the first people to learn that Jesus is the Messiah, and as a result, "Many Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman's testimony..." (John 4:39). The call to purity did not bring the woman to Jesus, but Jesus' love and sacrifice for her was able to make her pure.

Another important example of Christ's grace and call toward impure women can be seen in John 8. When the Jewish teachers of the law try to trap Jesus, bringing to him a woman who has literally been caught in the act of adultery and asking him whether or not they should conform to the law of Moses by stoning her, Jesus does not condemn her: he defends her. By saying, "Let him who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her," Jesus reminds the men around him that all sin is worthy of condemnation, calls them to examine themselves, and ultimately points to the manner in which his future death will make atonement for their sins (Luke 8:7). Therefore, everyone but Jesus and the adulterous woman leave, and Jesus, the only one without sin, says, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more" (Luke 8:11). Christ's forgiveness is what frees the adulterous woman from her sinful past.

God's Grace Toward a Flawed Church

What about the others that Christ has redeemed?

Before we were saved by the blood of Christ, which cleanses us from all sin, were we debt-free? No, we were hopelessly in debt because of our sin.

Without Christ, were we virgins? Perhaps sexually, but we did give ourselves to selfishness, money, and other things that cannot satisfy. And we all know that we engaged in lustful thinking, whether or not we acknowledged it.

Before salvation, were we scarred by tattoos? Many might say no, but what about all the masks we wore, the lies we told, and the secret sins we kept hidden?

As Paul writes to the church in 1 Corinthians 6, "Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God" (v. 9-11).

God calls sinners to himself through Christ. His church is made of them. He frees them from sin, makes them like Christ, and eventually brings them to dwell with him. His church is made up of indebted, scarred people, those who need him most. Praise the Lord for his grace toward us!

A Call to Humility

In the church, young men may prefer debt-free virgins without tattoos. Perhaps young women feel the same way about men. However, if we have died to ourselves and live in Christ, we should recognize our own flaws and, therefore, love flawed people.

Christ calls imperfect people to be his Bride. Let's live in thankfulness and welcome those who need Christ the most.